Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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