i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
