Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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