Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
