i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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