yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
