Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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