I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
