why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
