unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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