i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
