Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
