I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
