Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
We smell like vodka and hangover
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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