Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm at about main and main street
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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