I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
