I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
