Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
