I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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