I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
