Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
