are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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