It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
