That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
