I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
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