Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
