Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
