Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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