she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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