Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
i believe in u and ur pee
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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