I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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