Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
