Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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