Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
