you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
this just has baby written all over it
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
