You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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