i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
