what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
