so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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