Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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