bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
