You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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