And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
