Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
