If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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