Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
