WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
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