it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
