i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
