end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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